I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
