We won't sleep together?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
