They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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