4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
