he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
