theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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