called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
