whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My feet surprised me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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