Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
