we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
