I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
