i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
