can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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