Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
