He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
