This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
