Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
