I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
