he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
