Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
