Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
