i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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