there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
