i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
