the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
