ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
where am i from again
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
