i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
