i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
