i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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