I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
