Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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