There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
