I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
