I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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