The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
