He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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