Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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