Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My breasts were aching with rage.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I need a beard to bite.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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