I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
