hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
