I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
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