Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can text with my tongue
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
