Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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