And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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