Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
now i know why i became what i already was.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
