I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
