Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
