you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
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