I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
