found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
