Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
