don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
