I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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