Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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