At least make sure they are 18
Why
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
