I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
